The Other Bennet Sister: Episode 1

A Pride and Prejudice adaptation? For spring?

I couldn't resist, ok? I know this isn't really a P&P adaptation (that's coming later, and we'll deal with that when it does). This is a retelling from the POV of the least-loved Bennet sister: Mary. And I clearly have no issue with different spins on Jane Austen novels (check out my book All Stirred Up, a modern-day retelling of Persuasion!) so I'm willing to give this a try.

Ahh, Mary. Poor Mary. I felt a little sorry for her in the original novel, because she seemed like that person who tries hard at things but isn't good at anything, and she was treated very dismissively by her family. Yes, she was definitely a bit insufferable, but wouldn't you be, growing up in that crazy house, feeling like the only sane man amongst all that frivolity? Because even Lizzy didn't seem to take the grim truth of their financial future particularly seriously, you know?

So, ok! Let's give this a go, see if we can uncover some new truths and depths about dear, tone-deaf Mary. See this old story from another side, shall we?

Let's do this.

It is a truth universally acknowledged...

We start where Pride and Prejudice does, with news that Netherfield Park is let, to the excitement of everyone except for Mary and Mr Bennet (Richard E Grant, who I guess is now making something of a career of playing Austen dads).

Mary reels back and recounts how her parents met (at a party, where her mother kind of repulsively shoved a handful of cake into her mouth, which... ok.). After marriage and much sex (oh, you didn't want to think of the Bennet parents in flagrante? Too bad.) all they managed to produce was half a football team's worth of girls, which is no good to an entailed estate.

Mrs Bennet realises she's going to have to get all these daughters married, and fortunately, they all have something to recommend them. All of them, that is, except for Mary. She is, as Mrs Bennet complains to a friend, ungainly and unpleasant. Her hair is... brown and OH MY GOD, then she gets glasses! Which every 90's teen rom-com taught me is a one-way ticket to Hagsville.

The young optomitrist, Mr Sparrow, does not, however, think Mary a hag at all with her glasses. Mary's oblivious to his flirting, but Hill, the Bennet's housekeeper, who's come along on the glasses-receiving expedition, starts side-eyeing the guy so hard I'm surprises she doesn't shatter the lenses in Mary's new frames.

Hill is deffo the episode's MVP

Sparrow tells Mary there's to be an assembly soon, and outside his office she catches up with her sisters and shares the news. They dismissively tell her they already know, then roll their eyes and shut her out because apparently all the other Bennet sisters are mean girls here. They can't be bothered with Mary, who wears ugly bonnets and eschews pastels.

They--get lost, I think? On the way home? From the town they've lived near their entire lives? And getting lost means they all need to unbutton their jackets and shed their bonnets, which they wouldn't do because it's not like taking their bonnets off would make them cooler. Weird scene.

What's happening here?

Mommy dearest

All the talk at the Bennet home that evening is about the assembly. Kitty whines and whines until Mr Bennet tells her she can go, just to give him some peace. Mrs Bennet makes a comment about her two oldest and two youngest getting married and doesn't mention this possibility for Mary at all.

Ok, we're not even ten minutes in and I can already confidently declare this version of Mrs Bennet to be THE WORST. She's not great in the novel, but there she mostly just comes across as high-strung, selfish, and silly. Here, she's actively nasty, if not downright abusive to Mary. She didn't care when Mary overheard her badmouthing her daughter to her friend, she shoved Mary out of the way when she came into the room at the beginning, and is now pretending she doesn't exist. Strap in, she gets worse.

Mary copes (at least, I think that's what she's doing here) by saying she doesn't like balls anyway, prompting her mother to insist that she attend, so she can act as a sort of servant for her mother and Lady Lucas. See? The worst.

Mary puts her spectacles on and everyone (except Mr B, who wears them himself) reacts like she just performed a human sacrifice right there on the dinner table. Even the music gets all dramatic. Mrs B is melting down over this, but honestly, I don't see what her problem is. She clearly doesn't expect anyone to want Mary, so what's the big deal if she wears glasses or not?

Lizzy, at least, shows some kindness and tells Mary she thinks they look good on her. And you know what? She's right.

See? Perfectly cute!

Lydia takes her rightful place as The Worst Jr, shouting at Mary as if she's deaf and rudely demanding more wine from Hill, who gives her THE BEST LOOK. Ha! I like this version of Hill.

Maybe those pamphlets are research for how to get away with murder

Heh, Mary's a true crime fan.

After dinner, Hill catches Mary pretending to dance and offers to help Mary pick out a dress for the party. Mary's worried about being a wallflower and Hill tells her she'll be fine. I mean, she saw how keen Mr Sparrow was. She's determined to pick out a new dress for Mary (from where? The Meryton branch of Zara?) and Mary does not say no.

We SHALL go to the ball!

The night of the ball, and everyone's getting ready, except for Mary, who's practicing piano. Mrs B is wearing a particularly awful dress, and I'm sorry, but I have to say, there are some BAD costumes in this. Not all of them, but several clangers that clang loudly enough I find myself wondering if the better ones are rentals from other productions and the bad ones were made for this. They are... something else. Mrs Bennet's dress looks like it was made from peach upholstery fabric. Also: Mary only seems to have one dress. She's been wearing the same one in every scene we've seen her in so far, and while wardrobes were more limited back then, a gentleman's daughter (particularly one with two older sisters) would have had more choices than this.

There's tussling over the order of baths and, of course, Mary must go last. By the time she gets into the water it's gone cloudy, which is kind of gross. And then she sinks into it up to her eyeballs which is REALLY gross. Do not put your mouth in that water, Mary, what are you doing?

Hill's scrounged up a pretty white muslin dress and Mary looks really cute. She dabs on some perfume and gets ready to party.

The Meryton assembly! The Bennet ladies swan in, to approving looks from everyone there. Mary remembers to whip off her glasses before Lizzy drags her over to Charlotte Lucas, dressed in acid green with those cheap fake satin elbow gloves that were all the rage for bridesmaids back in the 80's. Charlotte complains about the crowd.

And then the Bingley party rocks up and everyone snaps to. Caroline Bingley is played by Tanya Reynolds which is some A+ casting, if I may say so myself. Sir William Lucas introduces the Bennet family, leaving Mary as an afterthought (of course. This is actually starting to become tiresome. We get it, everyone dismisses her and thinks she's kind of a loser. Also, her mother actually looks grossed out by Mary being mentioned at all, because, again, THE WORST.) Sir William tries to make up for it by noting that Mary is the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood. Caroline Bingley has nothing but passive aggressive bitchery to say to that. (Tanya Reynolds is PERFECT. So silky as she's slipping the knife in.)

A Sparrow in the hand is worth... nothing, apparently

Dancing begins, and Mary clearly wants to get out there, but has no partner. She overhears Lizzy laughing to Charlotte about Darcy negging her and starts to get upset, presumably because she's starting to think that if someone thinks Lizzy isn't pretty enough to partner, than Mary doesn't stand a chance.

But! Here comes Mr Sparrow, ready to ask her for the next dance. He seems stunned when she accepts. Aww. Mary's so keen she almost goes onto the dance floor inthe middle of the current dance.

They make some small talk about reading. She likes history, he likes science and plans to study medicine in London, something he hasn't told anyone else. Mary promises to keep his secret. Cute!

The two of them get out there and dance and have a grand time. So grand, they have a second dance. My god, they're practically engaged!

No, seriously, when he goes to grab them some ices, Charlotte condescendingly warns Mary that, if they dance a third time in a row, she'll start to attract gossip. Charlotte, I should note, does not seem to have danced at all, so there might be a touch of spite at work here.

And then Mrs Bennet tromps over in all her peach hideousness to snarl at Mary for dancing with someone whose father owns a shop and has to work for a living. Like Mrs B's family wasn't in trade, but, of course, she wouldn't want to remember that. She nastily tells Mary that she might not have a problem 'lowering herself' to dance with some guy whose shop has A BELL over the door, but Mrs B won't allow her to ruin her sisters' chances of a better match.

So, let me get this straight, Mrs B: you know you guys are in a tight spot and the girls need to marry. You thought Mary was a hopeless case, but that doesn't seem to be true. But you now want her to be a hopeless case? You want her to stay single? When that's explicitly problematic? Okaaaay.

I mean, if having a close relative associated with trade is so problematic, then Mrs Bennet's own brother is going to be an issue, because (in the original novel, at least), he does work for a living (Mrs B married up, into the gentry). But Uncle Gardiner doesn't seem to work in this version, so maybe they've done away with the trade association?

Sparrow returns with the ices and Mary very, very awkwardly tells him she can't dance with him again. I should point out that the three-dances rule is something the two of them would be aware of: social rules were drilled into most of these people from birth, so having multiple people explain it feels a little awkward and forced.

Speaking of awkward and forced: Mary can't think of a way to say: 'I think I'll just sit this dance out, thanks' and instead just tells poor Sparrow that he's basically so far beneath their family her mother's put the kibosh on them ever leading a reel again. Poor guy's crushed. Mary calls after him that she's sorry. Mrs B looks smugly satisfied. The sisters Bingley look condescending and superior.

The Bennet ladies return home and literally throw their capes in Hill's face (except Mary, of course). Mary goes to her room and cries and voiceovers everything we just saw and also makes sure to tell us she is very, very sad. I feel for Ella Bruccoleri, who plays Mary, I really do, because I think she's doing a good job with what she's being given to work with, but the script's not really helping her out here. This very much feels like one of those scripts that doesn't trust its audience and so needs to make everything VERY VERY OBVIOUS, like Mrs Bennet being mean and the constant reminders that Mary's a hopeless afterthought. I don't like those types of scripts, you guys. I hope this voiceover and the writing improve a bit.

Anyway, Mary decides she's going to find a new version of herself and establish herself apart from the rest of the family. So, she packs away her true crime pamphlets and decides to devote herself to being the dullest person imaginable. Cool. This should be really fun for us to experience along with her.